Something Asian

Hi everybodies.

Bye.

Love,

Shang

Haha, grad school is busy yo’s, distract yourself with this hilarious youtube video for the time being and soon enough you’ll see another post by me. And hopefully shang

Wells

The scam that are ear buds. I just bought a new pair after spending $30 just a few months ago on another pair. Each pair keep breaking on me in an average of 3 months. And I’ve realized what I’m doing wrong. NOTHING. It’s a scam. Believe it or not there is a lil bomb/timer in each ear bud that explodes, it doesn’t break the casing, but it makes the ear bud unworkable. The peer reviewed site, college humor, has detailed this nicely in a series of pictures titled “The 7 stages in the Life Cycle of Apple Earbuds”. Now you girls can follow along XD JK

The scam that are earbuds is similar to cell phones and how small they are. Chris rock does a great job explaining it in this video. Start at the 55 second mark. (WARNING: CRUDE LANGUAGE NSFW)

So don’t get scammed folks. Pace!

Wells

While this might sound disgusting, there are unspoken rules for male urination. I would hope most people know that male restrooms are unique as they don’t solely house poop stalls. Unlike female restrooms, we have are not lucky enough to have sofa’s and coffee tables in some of ours. We do however have an express lane, otherwise known as the urinal.

*Yeah..... They don't stay that clean*

I bet you ladies didn’t know this, but us guys are somewhat anal (pun intended) about our bathrooms. For instance, I MUCH prefer urinals with stalls (meaning a lil thin metal wall between each urinal) and even better I prefer single toilet bathrooms

BUT should you EVER find yourself in a bathroom with no walls, here are the rules you MUST follow:

1. If your the only one in the bathroom, always choose the toilet farthest away from the door.

2. If you are above the age of 10, avoid using the lower urinal at all possible

3. If it is a three urinal bathroom, and someone is already in there following rule #1, take the urinal closest to the door. NEVER take the middle urinal. In this case it is OK to break rule #2.

4. If you are in a 3 urinal bathroom and rule #3 is in effect, you are to use a POOP stall to pee.

5. Do not use a poop stall unless necessary, otherwise you seem like a puss.

6. If you find your self in a 3+ urinal bathroom, and rule #1 is in effect, choose any urinal leaving a minimum of a one urinal space between you and the nearest person.

7. Please do not spit gum in the urinal, that’s nasty.

8. THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE EVER, DO NOOOOT STARE AT ANOTHER MAN’S JUNK

9. Hand washing is optional. Only not optional is when you have pissed on your hand.

Those are the rules, now you are a professional in male urination. Congratulations!

Wells

This is for Shang,

Enjoy:

I made it extra long just so you guys could get a better view (That’s what she said)

Wells

As humans we are so arrogant. I mean can we REALLY say we’re the smartest animals out there? I beg to differ. Let me provide the evidence.

Us humans are pretty dumb sometimes:

*hmmm..... I'll just have to do an I.O.U. for my fine*

*This is how we ascended to the top of the food chain XD*

*This is what happens when your kids hero is Eminem*

*Laziness at its finest*

Now not all animals are mindless drooling living organisms. Here are the two smartest animals as ranked by animal planet:

#2 Dolphin: Dolphins are extremely social animals. Schools of dolphins can be observed in the world’s oceans surfing, racing, leaping, spinning, whistling and otherwise enjoying themselves. They also have a sophisticated “language,” though humans have only begun to unravel it. Dolphins use tools in their natural environment and can learn an impressive array of behavioral commands by human trainers. Like many of the most intelligent animals on Earth, dolphin females remain with their young for several years, teaching them all the tricks of the dolphin trade.

#1: The Chimpanzee: The impressive intellectual abilities of this animal have long fascinated humans. They can make and use tools, hunt collectively, and are capable of advanced problem-solving. They are also able to learn sign language to communicate with humans and can remember the name sign for individuals they have not seen for several years. But perhaps the most amazing feature of the chimpanzee is its ability to use symbols for objects and combine the symbols in a sequence to convey a complex idea. Such intellectual gifts are probably central to maintaining this animal’s complex social groups, where they form strong bonds and observe elaborate hierarchical structure.

If you ask me, this cat seems to be one of the smartest animals I’ve EVER seen

Wells

Don’t forget tomorrow our very own Brian Choi is performing in Chicago. Here’s the info!

Who: The ever sexy Andy Choi (No homo) and Brian (lame)

When: August 14th (Saturday, so no school kids) and they go on at 3:20

Where: Chicago Korean Festival at Bryn Mawr and Kimball

Wells

Well hello ladies and gentlemen,

I am back from my trip to the wonderful wilderness of Oregon. And let me tell you, the weather is BEAUTIFUUUUL. I mean it’s like mid 70′s throughout the day. Tons of beautiful breeze, I just got back into stl, and I thought I was suffocating when I got off the plane. Apparently it’s been triple digits for a while now. I think I’m ready to accept that global warning thing now. So we here at something asian have come up with several ways for you to keep cool this summer:

Go to the pool:

*I'm genuinely a little scared looking at this picture*

Every neighborhood has one, and it’s usually free! Only thing thou is you never REALLY know what your swimming in. An even better option is to freeload off a rich friend who has a backyard pool! If your too poor AND you have poor friends, you can always………..

Run through the sprinklers:

*Endorsed by Pedro Martinez*

Not only is it cost effective, you can host a party while keeping the fact that you don’t know how to swim a secret! It also deters ppl from peeing while playing in the water

Go streaking:

*With all that extra surface area of skin, you'll cool down faster*

The faster you run the more breeze u create. You also can lose weight this way A tip: Your legs move in concurrence with your arms, so the faster u swing your arms the faster you run. Also keep your arms at 90 degree angles and have them in the shoulder to pocket range

Public fountains:

*That does NOT look sanitary. But fun none the less*

Suggested by our very own Brian Kung, an even cheaper alternative to aquatic fun than the sprinkler. Watch out for cops though. A double whammy is to combine this with streaking, as Joanne’s Pokemon would say, IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE.

Lastly, MOVE:

*Bet you didn't know this was the Portland Skyline*

Portland Oregon for the next two days has a high of 74 and 80 degrees. It’s beautiful out there. As you may have known, I just got back from Portland, and the BEST BEST BEST BEST THING about Oregon in general is there is NO TAX WHAT SO EVER. So if you want to buy that $25 massage stick with your $25 Brookstone gift card, don’t worry about finding that 20 cents in change. I also saved $10 buying shoes

Well I hope you take these suggestions and stay cool this summer (even thou it’s almost over).

Enjoy school!

Wells

I don’t hate the normal things like crying babies, the lack of food, the charging of fees for your checked bag. With babies you tune them out, plug in some headphones and you’re ok. And more likely, someone else is more mad about it than you are and will say something. And seriously, people who are pissed off by not having meals on the airlines like they use to, doesn’t remember how bad those things tasted, I mean for reals, I don’t believe that was “premium chicken breast” I ate on the way to asia. The fees for charging your checked bag don’t piss me off just because I’m use to getting ripped off by anything and everything that moves, I mean I think 75 cent cheese at jimmy john’s and $2 sodas at cici’s pizza is more of a rip off than the $25 dollars for baggage.

*Look at all the babes*

One thing I semi hate is how people are bringing like 4 carry-on bags. For instance I saw some lady bring on a wheeled bag that looked like a freaking body bag, not only am I sure that the bag doesn’t fit in the lil carry on box thing, but she also had he duffle bag sized purse, back pack and another purse -___-

*Woman looks dangerous. STRIP SEARCH*

But no, the things that pisses me off the most is that d-bag of a person who reclines their chair right in front of you, or that fat guy who doesn’t buy two seats like he’s supposed to. Both are infringing on my limited space that I was expecting on this cramped flight. Now I’m no tall guy, but those seats are so cramped together that even I have a hard time getting comfortable. Flying to San Diego today, the all important I’m superior business man (who’s flying southwest btw) , reclined his seat within 5 minutes and it stayed like that the whole flight. I mean look around you d-bag, HOW MANY OTHER PPL HAVE RECLINED?? Zero! It’s common courtesy now to not recline yo seat! I would have been more sympathetic to the man if he was sleeping, but he was leaning forward half the time or reading the news paper. There is NOOOO reason for you to recline your seat. It’s ok I got him back thou, I took my shoes off and put one leg on top of the other so the exposed sock was resting on the back of his arm rest. I KNOW he smelled it, he elbowed my foot a couple of times, but I just kept putting it back.

The School Year is Nearly Upon Us

Wells