Today’s Song of the Day:
The New Work Out Plan – Kanye West
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Today I started a 5 month workout program to get myself into better shape. I didn’t realize that when I signed up however that the term “personal trainer” is apparently code for “let’s see how long we can make you hurt”. I mean seriously, I haven’t been able to walk straight since doing 200 squats a few days ago. Anyways, I’m not particularly fat, and honestly am probably in some of the best shape of my life. But I’ve always wanted “the situation”. And when I say I wanted “the situation”, I mean I’ve always wanted that 6 pack of abs! That’s just the one thing that screams in shape. I mean it’s like, you could be strong as sh*t but still be fat….
*But must they be so hairy?*
I mean seriously, considering my many fears, getting fat is probably one of the more logical rationale ones I have. I mean when you are more worried about all the wifi, TV, 3g, 4g, 10g, and cell phone signals that go through your body EVERY MINUTE OF YOUR LIFE, than you are about tiny strands of rock climbing gear splitting on you while you wear a glorified man junk magnifier diaper while 50 ft in the air, YOU SIR NEED TO HAVE YOUR PRIORITIES CHECKED. But anyways back to task at hand……
*Alright, if you can stop laughing for a minute, we can continue on with the post*
So like I said, I started this 5 month training program with my buddy from church and of course one of the questions is what is your goal and why? I told him my goal was to get down to 9% body fat. He then asked me why I wanted to get down to 9%. And to be honest I didn’t really have an answer. I think for the most part I just don’t want to be fat. I mean when was the last time you had your 4th plate of Chinese food from the buffet (and don’t lie your plate is mostly crab rangoons and ONLY the beef from the beef and broccoli) and said “Wow, I feel healthier already” or “Man, I totally feel energized now to go out and do some healthy physical activity”?
*Maybe making Johnny play outside wasn't such a good idea, honey. But it's funny as hell thou! Where's the camera?!*
Cause I mean, the thing that scares me most, is the amount of fat people there are in America. You can’t help but see it and in turn think about it. You can’t tell me you haven’t heard the statistic that 50% of all marriages end in divorce and haven’t for a split second thought you might be in the wrong 50% (which ever 50% that may be)? I mean I’ve already become Americanized in the sense that for every meal I must have a main dish, a side, and a dessert. Typically the sides consist of some sort of healthy snack like Sun Chips, Wheat thins, or lite pringles. And my dessert will always consist of fat free ice cream or sugar free cookies (and omg ppl seriously, those were jokes). But I do feel that as a society we’ve almost given up on trying to get back in shape and instead have gone completely the opposite and celebrated/embraced our reputation as a country for being hefty.
*Little known fact, he's also able to pull out form his underboob, wonderful gadgets akin to Doraemon. I only noticed he was Asian after I made that joke*
And by no means am I hatin on fat people, It’s more of that I just myself don’t want to be a “chunker” as my friend so eloquently put it. I mean I do have a good amount of hefty friends (that’s like saying your not racist because you have that one black friend), many of whom are trying to get back in shape, and by golly I am super proud of em for taking charge of their lives. I just feel as long as I can have a six pack of abs, then there is not a person in the world who can call me fat.
Wells “I’m going to get some angry comments” Ling
