Today’s Song of the Day:
Read Your Mind – Avant
Man I don’t know what it is, but I had two people look at me today and say, “Dude it just looks like you hate the world right now.” And let me say that there are times when I do hate the world, but today was by no means one of them. Sometimes I swear I’m bi-polar (And that’s a joke, bi-polar disorder is no joke, but u’ll understand the reference in a bit), there are these two types of mood swings I get that, everyone just misreads hellaz (Nor-Cal ftw):
Extreme Apathy: For reals, a lot of the times I just don’t care. And it’s not that my mind shuts off when I don’t care. Sometimes it doesn’t even get started. And when that happens my face just goes neutral. It’s not that I’m angry, I just don’t care enough to put in any effort so show emotion. For instance, I walk into the gym today and my friend says hey, I give the guy head nod:
And then they ask if everything is ok cuz it looks like I hate the world. Nah, I’m just that lazy today. There are some people who say that it is impossible to not be thinking about anything. That you must always be thinking something, even if it doesn’t pertain to the situation at hand. But believe me, when I’m in this mode, the brain just shuts down, pure survival instinct. Feet move forward, eyes look for any immanent oncoming traffic, but it won’t notice any clown walking down the street are anything. You’re most likely to see me in this mode during the early mornings when I’m not quite awake yet but am in class.
Superfluous amusement: The other half of my life is typically when I have the maturity of a 10 yr old. This is when I laugh at my own jokes as if I’m Russel Peters himself. In this state I get alot of “what drug are you on?”
Alot of times people will say something and I often giggle, usually about something that has nothing to do with what they said. For instance, I would say, “Hey man, how’d u break your arm?” He’d respond with, “Well I was going up for this dunk and I landed funny.” And as much as I try to not laugh, it only makes it worse as it comes out as a snort. Not cause breaking an arm is funny, but because this is what I imagined:
So if I ever chuckle while in front of you, please don’t mistake it for me laughing at your misfortunes. And even more importantly, please don’t ask me what I’m laughing at. Typically I’ll just say nothing cause, if I told you what I was really thinking, you’d give me a reallllly weird look. I don’t think like a normal person really. I mean I volunteered for like 7 more years of school (Grad school) what sane person does that?!
So yeah, I’m a strange person, so if you think something is off about me. You’re correct. Don’t worry about wondering if I hate the world or not, when I truly do, you’ll know. And if I am amused by something you said, please don’t automatically think the worst. Know if I have taken the effort to listen to what you have to say, then we’re friends and I won’t laugh at your misfortune.
Wells “If you don’t know, now you know” Ling